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Story (a), for those who love to read and smile - Big disgrace small pope


- I'm leaving on an expedition - busily said Pope.
- A pass is? - The policeman asked sternly.
- How far is it? - Casually asked the Princess.
- Ah! ..- Pope said. - In Zanzibar to start. Invited to a council of elders.

The present Pope listened and went to the window. It did not climb into any gate. Do not auto-training role, but not a harmless child's play. Frustrating when you own son mimics the amusement of the rest of the jerks. Very unpleasant.

- Breshesh! - Sliced ??policeman.
- I? - Choked Papa.- Yes you will know that I have never in my life did not tell lies.
- Breshesh - dropped Printsessa.- And in my childhood that - never lied?
- But never, - said stubbornly Papa.- I was a child did not do anything that we would have to hide.
- There was a sissy and did not fight?
- No, - the Pope said and lowered glaza.- Only when defending the weak, - he added, after an awkward silence.

"Yes, this is not a game! - Outraged This Papa.- This git me almost verbatim quotes. How dare he openly mock me! This puppy makes quite the right words in a sample of cretinism."


- And that you go to Zanzibar ?! - Triumphantly shouted Militsioner.- lied!
- I lied ?! A trip certificate seen?
- Show!
- In my hands read!
- Well ... You yourself Zanzibar! Zanzibarovka written here
- Village? - Pursed lips Princess.
- The village itself! There is an institution with an academic council! And no one but me knows how to make a quorum.

- Immediately march home! - This Dad yelled, half an hour traveling certificate sought. Son was not immediately and with full understanding of the sensitivity of the situation. Dad sat down with his legs crossed, and drummed his fingers on the table. Before the bus was about an hour. It was necessary to use the free time to educate his son.
- What are you playing now? - He began afar.
- In the princess and a policeman - diplomatically replied Son.
- So you were a princess?
- Princess Natasha always. She no longer be anyone disagrees.
- And you, therefore, agree to any role. You forced me to play?
- No, - I looked down Syn.- himself.
- So, you yourself voluntarily expose father laughing stock before the whole court ?! How could you? I can not even imagine that I'm a child could scoff at his father!

Obstinate Daddy's daughter did not want to agree with this statement, and to get rid of her, Dad decided to change the subject:


- Who allowed you to climb into my portfolio ?!
- I did not climb!
- So zavralsya in the yard, now lying his own father?
- I'm not lying!
- So you found my traveling certificate on the floor?

From such a blatant lie Dad grabbed his head:
- As a person who, though sworn, all his life says nothing but the truth, could have been born a liar? .. Give me a certificate!
- You can not! - The son said, looking down.
- What ?! Why is it impossible ?!
- You can not. And the whole conversation. Dad was going to be cool and ironic, but there is a limit:
- How dare you say ?!
- Yesterday you said that.
- Remember, as soon as I can talk! - Strictly Pope said, and added, thinking: - Because I know what is possible and what is impossible ... You lied. Where could you take a license, if not in the portfolio?

Son was silent.

- I know you are lying, - said Papa.- Give it here, or you know what will happen? You know what?

Son knew. He has already met all scream, but the window was opened into the courtyard, and sat in the courtyard of Natasha. Clench your teeth and remained silent.


- So, - the Pope said, grabbed his son in his arms. After a few seconds a certificate back to the Pope. On the reverse side of the document ink scrawl was written:

Do you, Natasha, a beautiful attractive face,
Jeans, like Nonko of 7 "B".
I, Natasha, only one daisy.
I'm on it wondering about his fate.

Pope presented the secretary's face, marking a certificate, then a company of maidens accounting, and vulgar jokes about drunken handwriting, awakened the poetic gift, and finally, a lively discussion about that because of the numerous college Natasha this gift awakened. Somewhere on the periphery of consciousness Papineau wondered: "Once scribbled, then really found on the floor and took over the thrown" but lava rage replaced all thoughts and erupted:

- Where did you come on my head! God! What a punishment! All children as children, and then only lies! My son is a liar! Thief! In seven years, writes love letters! Ridicules his own father, along with all the court! But why do I have? Have I been so? My parents went to the school as a birthday! I do not hide from them! And so I climbed into the portfolio to his father? ..

- And the first-and-and-and n-n-not-a-la Azil - squeezed between the Son sobs.
- And I did not interrupt the senior! - Dad took a deep breath and asked: - Do not roar! I was a child never roared.
- Br-ee-e-shesh! - Wiping tears, evil son said.
- And do not swear - calmly continued Papa.- And not fresh with elders, especially my father. Studied only as "excellent", not hurt the younger ones. I wish I could once again become a seven year old boy, to show you how to behave! I have showed you how to help her mother, to go shopping, to teach lessons to respect their parents, everything they give. And most importantly, never tell a lie. No-coh-da! Got it? I still can not speak the truth, even if I wanted to. I always think that if I ever tell lies, there will be something terrible. For the "horrible" is not it ...
- Oh, Daddy! - Screamed in fright Syn.- Daddy, come on, do not! I will not!

It was very scary: own father right before our eyes becoming less family. Daddy's receding hairline became overgrown with thick curly hair, mustache turned into fluff and disappeared.


- What's the matter? - The Pope said unidirectional Basque and noticing in the mirror its suddenly became awkward and angular figure stiffened.

Meanwhile, with the Pope quickly fell pants. Catch them failed - hands tangled in the arms of his jacket. Terrible timing wriggled helplessly on the floor, and then disappeared beneath the colorful satin panties.

- Oh, - the Pope said, shyly hiding behind.

Trying to keep from slipping off the shoulder jacket, the Pope waved his arms dramatically, and the clock, followed by a wedding ring, flashing in the sun, flew out of the window. Dad stepped forward, leaving behind a socks, and then fell, tangled in his shirt, which has become a strait. He got up, tried to say something, but his mouth was twisted, my lungs did not exhaust the air and struggled within him, and finally, a small Dad roared, wiping tears cams.

Dad's huge shirt, dangling around his neck, nearly reaching the floor tie, and even crying thin girlish voice was so ridiculous, that the Son smiled uncertainly at first, and then hurt laughed, pointing. Laughter from the Son also tears, and now they both stood facing each other, and rubbed his eyes cams. Dad spoke first:

- Fool! - He said.

Here Son seriously pondered. Supposed to answer: "The fool!" But to call the Pope a fool does not. But was it the Pope? In any case, regardless Son put his hands in his pockets, and, spitting, said:

- If I'm a fool, you ... you ... naked komandirovochnik! How are you now in your Zanzibarovku go? How?
- I do not know ...- distraught Pope said.
- And you will go there anyway ... - Son continued thoughtfully. The answer depended on it. We had to decide how to deal with this boy. Dad could not go on a business trip - the Son knew firmly. If the boy is not going on a business trip, then it can not stand on ceremony.

Small Pope recalled finally about manhood and pulled himself together. Cut the knot befallen him was unreal problems, so they had to think how to unravel. Most unpleasant of all was the thought of how will the relations with his wife. And what a week to report on a business trip? The incident seemed completely inexplicable, but I still had to do something. Primarily required to restore the authority of his father:

- Without a doubt, I'm going on a business trip - with authority, with the arrangement said Papa.- I can not neglect his duties. But not now ... later. I might even take you along with her mother.

Son stood, swaying independently, but said nothing.

- And now, - continued the Pope - turn around, I'll take care of her toilet.

Lesson toilet did not have to. Taking off his shirt, the Pope saw himself on clean white golfiki with pompons and ironed sailor suit. Dad immediately with pain found that instead Brykin brought from Rome rim of pockets, stick small glasses-bicycle with curved arcs.

- Can you turn around - the Pope said in a trembling voice.
- Why are you bald? - Sarcastically asked the Son, and after an awkward pause, he added: - Dad.
- You see ... - slowly began Papa.- When I was so small, like you, it was considered useful and hygienic, and so my parents ...
- Lice, whether that fear?
- Well, who knows ... I remember saying, "That's right" - and shaved. They both laughed.
- What we shall do? - Asked Syn.- Soon mom will come. The doorbell rang.
- Oh, - the Pope said, and crawled under the bed. But it was not the mother, and the postman.
- Parents at home?
- Dad! - Called the Son. Then sadly added: - But what's dad ...
- What is already tipsy? - Postman asked sympathetically, and without waiting for an answer, he sighed, and to the Son telegram: "The arrival of Marika canceled due pig firmly embrace the whole waiting guests Annie".

Annie - my mother was the sister of Komsomolsk-on-Amur. Son never saw aunt or a cousin. Have not seen it, and parents. - Dad! - Happily shouted Son - Get out! You now Marik!
While Dad delved into telegram lock clicked, and entered Mom.

- Something you today too early - suspiciously handed Dad and stopped.
- Marik? - Squandered asked Mom. - You've already come? And we are waiting for you tomorrow ...

Mom leaned over to kiss Marika cheek, but he turned his head mechanically and habitually kissed Mom on the lips. Son giggled, Mom blushed, Dad sighed.


- Children! - Unnatural said cheerfully Mama.- Now we'll have dinner ... and dad that have not? - She shouted from the kitchen.
- Yes, - said pointedly Son, - no longer exists.
- Have you ever found an uncle Marik?
- Surprise, -syazvil was Dad, but spohvatilsya.- Extremely nice person.
- You think so? - My mother asked in surprise.
- And you're not?
Mom was embarrassed and silently spilled porridge on plates.
- As Annie? - She asked uncertainly.
Until now, the Pope was not interested in her mother's relatives. Of course, he knew that in the Far East Mum has a sister, and even saw her once, but that was long ago.
- Fatter, I believe - he said, irritably.
- Because of my mother can not say - Son said sternly.
- Children - Mom said - why do not you eat? Marik and Sonya?
Who is Sonia, the Pope did not know. So he took a big bite of bread, long chewed, but could not think of, forced sullenly:
- Firmed.
- Why are you so skinny? - Mama smiled.
- Every family has its black sheep, - muttered Dad.
- Learn Aniuta - laughed Mama.- imagine how she is upset because of the fact that you're not eating.
Dad looked at the Son:
- I never get upset mother - with. he said emphatically. -I I eat everything on the plate. I just have a metabolism.
- That you from worms - retorted Son:
- Why do you say that? - Mom became agitated.
- Again, you're lying! - Outraged Papa.- Go stand in the corner!
- That's right! - Mom relieved vzdohnula.- Do not you dare tease brother! Go to the corner. And you, Marik, even supplements.

The addition was more servings. Pope lazily swallowed a couple of spoons, contentedly fell off the table and met the gaze of the Son. The trap door shut. Eyes shone with curiosity Son and vindictive joy. Mom smiled serenely.

- I can not indulge in gluttony, when my brother is in the corner! - Pope's voice sounded solemnly, but worried.
- Eat, eat, brother! - Handed son.

- Previously, could and now you can. You know, like my dad says, "You can not - teach, you do not want - to make."

Dad shoved the plate and rushed from the table. Large heavy hand fell on his shoulder, and Dad flopped back. Glancing at the wet grasping paw, he wistfully remembered little graceful pen wife.

- Come on, one more spoon for mom ...- with every word his head lower and lower bends to the plate.
- And a spoon for Dad! - Happily howled Son.

Before Dad's eyes stretched a sea of milk porridge. Sometimes it ripples. Here and there appeared and disappeared island. Skladkovataya porridge was already in the esophagus.

- I'll rip out - warned the Pope.
- Do not you dare! - It is better to let troubled Mama.- still spoon for Aunt Sonya.
- Hell with your aunt Sonia! - In a familiar role of the Pope immediately felt confident. - Let the cow eats itself for itself! More and eat for it! Me all these rodstvennichki already over there ... Let's go! - He said to the Son ...

People in the yard increased. Peter, cursing ironed trousers, sadly watching the ride down the hills and Natasha Ferdinand.


- Come on, - he whined every time. - Let's go on a swing!
- Natasha! - Called the Son. - To me cousin came with Cupid!
- Oh, what a Cupid! 'Said Natasha, and pulling largish jeans, climbed the hill. Dad was confused. He just noticed how beautiful Natasha.
- Hey, Cupid, do you play football? - Shouted from the hill Ferdinand. - What have you got there a football team?
- "Amur waves" - found Dad.
- Dead team - casually said Ferdinand. - Poor interact players of different lines. Lacks the ability to complete the attack.
Pope thoughtfully stroked his head. Ferdinand, copying the gesture, stroked his soccer ball and continued:
- Leaves a lot to be desired moral and volitional training players.
All respectfully looked at Ferdinand.
- What do you say that each team - dropped from the top and slid down Natasha.
- Dura, go play with dolls.
- I Peter - neatly bypassing the puddle came Peter Smirnov. - And you that classes have ended?
- Tomorrow Cupid's coming with me to school! - Choking with delight, said all the Son.
- Do not be silly - Pope twitched nervously. - I'm in this school is not recorded.
- Do not be afraid, - said Natasha. - I'll ask for you.
- Mom to agree - confidently said Son. - Come on ramp.

But on the hill already skated Strelchihin baby.

- To climb ?! - Strelchiha cried, getting up from the bench. -Not see that the child is riding? Ride, ride, berry, do not worry.
- Come on, - said Natasha - well it.
- Wait, - in the eyes of Ferdinand flashed light. - Are you afraid of her? - He asked the Pope.
- What next - protested Pope. Natasha looked at him. - I swim across the Amur - is unknown why the Pope added under her gaze.
- Then the ramp. Beginner?
Dad smiled and stepped up to the hill. Strelchiha rushed to intercept him.
- Where are you going? Do not you hear what I said? I have you now!
- Not eligible - the Pope said coldly. - Slide the public. Depart immediately.
- Right? - Turned crimson Strelchiha.- What right? Here's your right!
Hanging on one ear, almost touching the ground socks, was not only unusual, but also very painful. And Dad cried plaintively:
- Let go! Let go! You have no right, this violence!
- Bitch - a few seconds later the Pope said wistfully.
Strelchiha opened her mouth and opened her fingers at the same time.
After gaining ground, Dad glanced at a safe distance, and said with dignity:
- Now I have to get away, but I will return and come with me the law!
Strelchiha and Dad rushed simultaneously.
- Where the villain? - Choked Strelchiha.
- In legal advice! - Shouted Dad, squealing. - Disorderly conduct, two sixth article, part one ...
- Oh, you dog! - Enthusiastically said Strelchiha and stopped.
- Dry biscuits, oranges ship barrels, wolf you, I despise you! - Dad proudly shouted, and disappeared into the alley.
Rest of the day the company held a very priyatno- Dad won authority: not sparing travel, buying ice cream on every corner, and Natasha gave lipstick. This lipstick Ferdinand did sign on the door Strelchihi. But in the end turned out crumpled: passed "Pirozhkova" Wanton and company chorus, which clearly tapped voice of his own son, began to yell: "Bald pate - give patty" and screamed for about ten minutes, and dad does smiled, squeezing fists in his pockets, but all bought pies.

Mom has gone somewhere. Gorged itself ice cream kids were very happy with the evening meal is delayed. Mom returned busy with a new hairdo and a bouquet of roses.


- Children, - she said - fast dining and beds.
- Why do you have a new hairstyle? - Aggressively asked the Pope.
- Did I not go?
- I wonder, for whom is it? Husband leaves on a business trip, and she makes a new prichesku.- Dad turned to Synu.- How do you like it?
Moms eyebrows went up, and Dad thought suddenly.
- But my mother - he said quickly, - her hair done before the arrival of her husband. Before!
Mom flushed nervously fingered the finger engagement ring.
- Quickly dinner and bed! -Finally She said.
- We do not want to dine ...- began Son.
- Why does not want to? - Dad confidently sat down and rubbed his hands together: Well, sir, how many of the dishes we have dinner tonight?
- Of the three! - Willfully said cheerfully Mama.- Eggs, bread and milk.
- And this is called dinner! -otodvinutaya Pope plate nearly fell from stola.- Value fly to distant lands to eat eggs. We have on-Amur for three o'clock in the morning, and here they find it normal that I have not had dinner. Neglecting duties as hostess, make new hairstyles, and instead of the promised fruit to me at home on the table, these camel thorn! - Pope pointed accusatory roses.

- Marik baby - said quietly Mama.- You just do not worry. From tomorrow everything will be as you want.My'm not waiting for you segodnya.Deti - Mom looked anxiously at his watch I beg of you, quickly eat and beds.


- I'm out here obviously did not wait, but someone definitely wait! - Dad stared at potolok.- way, - he said to the Son, - you do not know who?
- Come on, - slid off the stool Syn.- went to sleep.
- Marik - Mum's voice faltered - at least you know what you are saying terrible things?
- Am I not right?
- To me really need to come visit - his eyes downcast, his mother said. - But who did you grow up, if now all you see in this light ...
Mom somehow droop wearily ran a hand across his forehead.

Dad with a crash pushed the stool and went into the nursery. Dad did not undress. He walked in the darkness from corner to corner and is not afraid of waking the sleeping son, kicked all that ran. The doorbell rang.

- Hello, Nadia - there was a sugary voice Brykina.- You look great. Her husband's absence is good for you.




- I'll kill you! - Whispered Dad and sat on the floor near the door. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and memory obligingly line up before him all the stories about his Brykinskie pohozhdeniyah- from fourteen years to the last trip. "Now kiss corridor handle."
- Granted to the handle, Nadya! -durachas, But with the value of said Brikin.
- Brikin, it's not a friendly kiss. So what are you to visit asked for?
Dad wiped his tears and sighed with relief.
Brikin was still at the very beginning of his usual scenario. "Gone to the room. So, while I took Brykina in the kitchen. Surely brought champagne. Semisweet". The room shot-stopper, there was a faint cry, and then laugh. "Now toast about three roses."
Intimate murmur Brykina gradually gained momentum:
- ... So let us drink for women who wisely use their petals!
- What a delicious champagne - my mother said.
- Semi-sweet - prompted Brikin. "Now sing Findlay. Jaded repertoire."
- And do not sing Do we? - Purred Brikin. - Unlearn especially for tonight.
- So after the kids are asleep.
- A sleep? It's good. Nothing, I quietly:
Oh ... that I will be with you ... "With me" - said Findlay. Shut the lid to the coffin. "Go!" - Said Findlay.
They laughed.
- And you still insolent and irresistible - Mom said.
"Admires". Dad swallowed standing in her throat and resolutely opened the door.
- I want the toilet - demanded he said, and saw tort.Eto was "Napoleon." "Six hours trying. Well, well" - and also want a cake, this is you in honor of my arrival baked? Mama said that in honor of my arrival bake me a tort.Polozhi-yonder kusok.Net, not this one, the biggest ... Very tasty tort.Mama was prava.Kogda you said that there is nothing but eggs, you just forget about it, do not you? what Well, that's life in general byvaet.V anything can happen. And who is this? Neighbor or cousin? He told me less nravitsya.Ya cake just prelest.Predstav me, please, this is my uncle ... What? No, it's too dlinno.Ya'll call you Uncle Brikin just, well, then you I believe, too medik.Zavidnoe postoyanstvo.Zhenschiny in our family postoyanny.Vy jealous, I heard peli.Ne refuse courtesy, sing "The Forest Raised a Christmas Tree ..." well, then, you sing, she sings along, I dance .Uveryayu you, the three of us we can wonderfully spend vremya.Polozhite me another tortika.Ne obemsya.A general, if we have established such a trust relationship, then I will not ponimayu.Tot that day was such an interesting man ...
Mom put her face in her hands.
- Curious baby - confused Brikin. - But amusing kids for a long time to go to sleep.
- Really, do not let this bother. By Amur already morning. And I was just about to discuss with you the options syndrome by Kandinsky Clérambault.
Brikin choked.
- And in what field of medicine you should earnestly contend? - Continued the Pope. - Beautician? Slippery profession. Durite our brother.
Dad suddenly felt very tired. These adults have become completely indifferent to it. Dad was sick - verily whether from sweet cake, whether from nervous strain.
- Well you all to hell! - Dad threw a half-eaten piece. -Do What you want.
Dad, without undressing, lay down on the bed. From the light of the street lamp hit in the eye. In the courtyard, a gazebo, located company adolescents.
- Bob, you asshole! - Heard from there.
"Lord - thought Dad - who am I?" The more he thought about it, the clearer it became that he was a child, not only externally. Dad realized with horror that they acquire children's feelings, and even preserved adult intelligence could not hold them back. Recalling its current behavior, he thought to give the seven-year girl lipstick would not dream of any adult or child. Obtained a strange hybrid, even frightening in its strangeness. The most annoying thing was that accustomed to plan his life Dad could not even imagine that will kick in the next minute. Dad still wanted as soon as possible again to become an adult, but comparing yesterday and today, could not help but admit that now life was interesting and fun. He never thought that the children's pranks can be so much fun. He experienced the delight of boorish monologue before Brykin could not be compared with anything. But the sense of some dissatisfaction did not leave Daddy. Brykinskoe muttering changed quiet music. "Wow - thought Dad - got to dance by candlelight. Boosts!"
There was a mother's melodious laugh. "Fast as you walked away."
- Brikin - coyly said Mom - I'll tell her husband.


"Already bullied. Well, first outing was somewhat crumpled.'ll See who's better to make fun of anyone." Slowly, waddling Dad went into the living room, turned on the light, blew out the candles, sat in the chair and crossed his legs, eo taste asked
- Do not expect?
Brikin realized that never, under any circumstances, he did not tell anyone about this evening. In front of him casually sprawled rickety bald, bespectacled and seems to have seen it through.
- What, because girls do not sleep? - Brikin realized that it is necessary to establish contact.
- How - solidly said rickets.
- Well, you give - falsely Brikin admired and looked at Mom. Mom bit her lip.
- Speaking of dreams, - said rahit.- I do not know about you, but I'm not used to sleeping alone. Somehow I felt awkward just insist that you slept with me, as does my mother, but what -rahit sadly spread his little hands - I can not sleep. I hope my words will not be misinterpreted - he added after a pause occurred.
- Dude, you're already big - Brikin said hopelessly.
- What do you mean, Uncle Brikin, I'm not as great as you think ... Can I call you sometime to Do? - Suddenly said rickets.
- What conversation - glad Brikin bustling pulling a business card.
Rickets took her with a slight bow of gallantry, scraped his leg, said:
- I will not bother you - and giggling, went out into the corridor.
- Marik, for whom do you take me? - Cried after Mom and quietly wept.
- Alla - Marik said of koridora.- apartment Brykina? - His voice was whiny. - Here is your husband stick to my mom. Auntie, come quickly and help her. It will not last long. Pearl, 8, Apartment 12.
Brikin flew out into the corridor. Rickets Accu-ratnenko hung up the phone and looking with interest Brykina eyes, said:
- I do not understand. Does your wife a nice voice.
Without wasting time on the answer Brikin grabbed the briefcase and rushed down the stairs.
- Where are you? - Shouted rickets after him, running out onto the landing. - Let's be friends families!
When Dad came back, Mom in the living room was not there. Pleased with himself, Dad shoved in his mouth a piece of cake, listening to the water drowns out sobs. Mom was sitting on the box for clothes, and putting his head under the faucet, crying. Beautiful hair has turned into something shapeless. Ink flowed down her cheeks.
- Yes, I joked, not dialed, - the Pope said. - Good night.


Woke up ... Daddy long and hard, clinging to oblivion. He is buried in oblivion head, frantically clutching fingers, but oblivion fluttered flying carpet and fell to the feet, being an old blanket.
- Rise! Get up quickly, and then be late for school!
- Do not yell! - Said sadly Papa.- This is not a barracks, and children.
Not worth deceive ourselves - it was not a dream. Huge, angry wife really whip him yesterday with a wet towel on her bare ass.
- I do not go to school! - Dad howled. - I have already graduated from the first class! I have a straight A report card! You can not double-join the same water!
- Go to wash and do not talk nonsense. Dad laid a chick leg over the other:
- This stupid, among other things, blurted out whether Democritus, or Demosthenes.
- Come on, demagogue! Still go to school. Me at work. Where I'll Den? Dad threw the legs:
- I remembered! Heraclitus said it! - And suddenly yelled: - Do not go to school! I will not go! Said: I will not go!
It was a mistake. Mom already thought that such a development of boys who knew the ancient philosophers, and can be left alone.
- Do not yell! Quickly odevaysya.A then you know what will happen? You know what?
Dad knew. To push tonyusenkie legs in tiny shorts under the controlling gaze of his wife was humiliating. Buttons for some reason did not want to get into the loop, fingers seemed alien and clumsy.
- Faster. We're late.
Dad tried honestly. But all went bad. Very much so. Could not manage to focus on getting dressed. Any little thing distract completely switch attention. Thoughts climbed childlike unwittingly Papin mouth ajar, eyes mist and Dad froze. Periodically Mom habitually shook it. Shout, "Come on!" enough only for a few seconds ...

The school went three - Son, Dad and Mom. Marika on Mom tried not to look.

Timur Petrovich is the third day was a school principal. His age of all teachers had only a primary school teacher Svetlana Savelievna. But it is most defiantly did not take him seriously as a director. But not so in the morning thinking about it Timur Petrovich. All the last quarter, he developed a master plan for the assault Svetochka, and now the plan is nearing completion.

When Mom and Dad went to the office, the director smiled dreamily.
- A document is? - He asked. - No, there are not supposed to.
- You are absolutely right - the Pope said with feeling.
Director looked down, but the view is well ironed creases in his trousers back him confidence.
- What do you mean? - Director looked searchingly at the puny four-eyes. "Because of the standouts," - he said professionally.
- I wanted to say that I have rarely seen such a young and principled direktora.Nadeyus that you will go far. Thank you.
Director blushed. He suddenly wanted to disappear from the shelves collection slingshots and a jacket GTO badge.
- Well, - said Timur Petrovich As an exception. Tell Svetlana Savelievna that I allowed.


Svetlana Savelievna was young and pretty. Dad always liked these - thin with serious faces and restrained manner. Dad had a few wilted excited. And after Natasha Nesmirnaya called him to himself at the desk, the Pope thought that things are not so bad.
Svetlana Savelievna beginning of the lesson.
- How is she? - Asked the Pope at Natasha.
Natasha made ??a face that could be interpreted in different ways, but which indicated that her opinion about the teacher is not too high.
- Young ... Inexperienced ... come ... - Natasha suddenly jumped up, caught the dove dove on the desk and eagerly pulled his tail. She smiled with satisfaction and prepared to enjoy the note. Dad looked at the note and learned doodle Son. Pope protested, but much more was outraged Svetlana Savelievna.
- Nesmirnaya - said sternly ona.- Give it here.
Under this could mean anything, but Natasha understood correctly.
- Do not give, - she said.
- Quickly baggage on the table, or I'll put a deuce on behavior.
- Note is personal - not without pride Nesmirnaya said.
- First, become a person, and then get personally zapiski.- After a brief internal struggle won a top curiosity. Sveta went up to Natasha Nesmirnoy, grabbed her arm and unclenched fist.
- You have no right - intervened Pope - is violence! We secrecy of correspondence.
- In our class there are no secrets from each other. And we are all together, -Svetochka put emphasis on the word "together" and looked around the class - read this note.
The class roared. Natasha in a desperate leap trying to snatch the note, but Sveta was alert and raised the note above his head.
- Do not be so, - plaintively asked Son.
- That's right! - Doubts about the correctness of the action after the jump Natashkin left Svetochka.
Svetlana Savelievna stepped away from Natasha and began to read: "Top Secret. After reading eat. Natasha do you know about my feelings for, you are in such danger. Berigis Amurchik. Do not look at his appearance. This is the type of veteran. Do not torment my heart with very. Cast out Amurchik to me. he already has another. Praschay, astalnoe at recess. "

- So, - said Sveta - about Amurchik we all know, we have personal notes, and write correctly, we are still small. And now the author will go to the board and write the text. And then the target will fix a few bugs.
Dad looked at the slender back of the Son, on trembled in his hand with chalk and felt pity for him shame. Son finally turned. Dad shook his head disapprovingly.
- We have to obey their elders, - said sadly Son.
- Coward, - said Natasha and roared.
Son turned pale and rushed to gloss over written palms. Svetochka realized that went too far.
- Well, - said awkwardly Svetochka.- Sit down. We extend the lesson and do some "interpretive reading".
Dad felt spat.
- Dura ... cow ... - quietly sobbed Natasha.
- Do not Noah - Cupid pushed her in bok.- She will regret. Look - and Dad winked Svetlana Savelievna.
"Poor boy - thought Svetochka - probably tick."


Today, the "explanatory reading" were "Telephone" Chukovskiy.

- I've got the phone rang! - With the rise of reported Svetochka.
- Congratulations - pathetically said the newcomer, looking askance at his sosedku.- What only yesterday put? Such an event ... And how did you manage? We have for the past five years on the waiting list ... Some of the parents help?
- Boy - frowned in annoyance Svetochka.-What's your name? So, Marik, senior interrupt bad. Listen carefully and try to understand the main idea of this work.
The second attempt was slightly more successful - the first nine lines of Pope bitterly thought of tactlessness of modern youth and pretty girls in particular. On the tenth line Pope vengeance cried
- Enough! What you teach children? You have something for yourself at least understand the main idea of this work? - He leaned on the desk, as the pulpit. - What's going on? A elephant, according to stud not a pawn, rings, as you can tell, the official official, I say to you from the Camel, and take a minute to me for her son svertochek chocolate Pudikov that way for five or six. And this, by the way, nearly a hundred pounds. About a thousand rubles. Almost your annual earnings. Honestly earned money so do not throw. A good example for the youth!

The class was silent.
"Embryo glasses" - sadly Svetochka thought, remembering the terrible stories of white bison with the department of pedagogy about geeks. She forced a smile and squeezed:

- So say ugly.
- We can and krasivo.- Embryo charmingly smiled, straightened his tie and a non-existent repeated the same run-in voice radiodiktora.
- Still ugly !!! In fact! Demagoguery! - Started up Svetochka: - Nonsense |
- Beautifully will talk with you at the palace Wedding - coldly embryo.


- Where? - Squeaked Svetochka.Ona confusion stepped to the door, sobbed and ran out of the class.
- In the registry office run - vindictively said Natasha. She picked up the book and thrown, sat behind the teacher's desk, read the tenth line. - Extend - she nodded Cupid, and they continued.
Timur Petrovich was happy. Svetochka sobbed on his shoulder. Aversion to the brand new morning had disappeared somewhere, and he decided to treat him gently as possible.
At the door of the class Svetochka hysterically sharp manicured nails dug into his hand Timur Petrovich.
- Do not be afraid, - said Timur Petrovich.
Svetochka go to "you" did not notice. Behind the door, Natasha, recognizable mimicking her, reading "Telephone" and Ebrion comments. Arose when a director deathly silence lasted only a moment.
- As you are already out of the registrar's office? - Embryo reacted when Svetochka, clutching the hand of Timur Petrovich, appeared in the classroom. - And you, I see, from the first day hold on to his chosen stranglehold. Very reasonable.
Embryo suddenly grabbed the windowsill pot with blooming geraniums and shuffling feet and murmuring: "Now we will talk nicely" strongly filed numb pair.
- My dear! C great enthusiasm he said. - On this auspicious day, the tears of joy will not let me clearly see your happy faces. Nice to know that two people who devoted themselves to the noble cause of the formation of the people of the future, and now devote themselves to each other. It is impossible not to notice - now Embryo turned to the class - that despite his young age, the activity of the spouse has already been marked by some awards. - He reached icon TRP and tapped it with a finger. The class chuckled appreciatively. - We see that the husband is ready for anything, and wife, respectively, ready for anything.
- Do not be afraid, - said Timur Petrovich.
Svetochka go to "you" did not notice. Behind the door, Natasha, recognizable mimicking her, reading "Telephone" and Ebrion comments. Arose when a director deathly silence lasted only a moment.
- As you are already out of the registrar's office? - Embryo reacted when Svetochka, clutching the hand of Timur Petrovich, appeared in the classroom. - And you, I see, from the first day hold on his chosen stranglehold. Very reasonable.
Embryo suddenly grabbed the windowsill pot with blooming geraniums and shuffling feet and murmuring: "Now we will talk nicely" strongly filed numb pair.
- My dear! C great enthusiasm he said. - On this auspicious day, the tears of joy will not let me clearly see your happy faces. Nice to know that two people who devoted themselves to the noble cause of the formation of the people of the future, and now devote themselves to each other. It is impossible not to notice - now Embryo turned to the class - that despite his young age, the activity of the spouse has already been marked by some awards. - He reached icon TRP and tapped it with a finger. The class chuckled appreciatively. - We see that the husband is ready for anything, and wife, respectively, ready for anything.
- Hooray! - The son cried and ran the first paper dove.
Sveta and Timur Petrovich, who took a pot at the same time, throughout his speech dragged each to his own. Sobered shouting "Hurrah!", They simultaneously released him, and shards together with clods of earth scattered around the class.
- Fortunately, fortunately - bustled Embrion.- breath away when you think about what kind of worthy children bring up to us this little pedagogical staff. Do not know about you - he gestured at the class - and I'll be waiting impatiently their appearance. However, - the voice faltered Embryo - unworthy envy gnaws my heart. I round as a billiard ball, an orphan. Adopt me! - Embryo flopped on his knees, was about to hit his head against the floor, but at the last moment for some reason - then changed his mind and embracing Svetochkiny knees and pressed his cheek to him.
Svetochka pale.
- Do not want to - sadly said embryo, after a pause. - Strange ... - Embryo stood dejectedly.
- My heart is full of sorrow, but the solemnity of the moment does not allow me to indulge in it. Let us not be sad! Take a look at the burning from embarrassment lovely young face. Dozens of doves hovering over their heads. Also congratulate the newlyweds! Allow me, on a Toastmaster ...
- Tilly-boiled-dough - protivnenko delayed Natasha.
Embryo immediately reoriented and began conducting.
- The bride and groom! - Sound of the class.
Timur Petrovich, looking with horror at the gaping gap-toothed mouths, grabbed Svetochka hand, and hunted looking around, stepped back toward the door.
Remained in the office alone, Timur Petrovich think seriously about how to perform this Svetochka courageously - restrained tone promise to restore order in the classroom. Do not think of anything better, he called his mother to work and omitting some too galled his pride details told about the incident. At the end of the line quietly gasped.
- You can not even imagine ... - began director.
- Alas, too well imagine - Mom sighed, and they quickly agreed that both children remaining until the end of the school year for two days at the school will not appear.
Director hung up and wistfully thought that 1 "B" should be today three more lessons. "That Egor, now this, well, classic ... Yegor ... Of course, Yegor is no other way."
- Egor - said the director of five minutes shifted from one foot to the other repeaters Mazaevu.- I always thought you were the main bully 1 "B" class.
- What did I do? -zanyl Egor.- It Amurchik ...
- That's right, - said direktor.- Comes by some four-eyes and begins to set the tone ... And it's in the classroom, where yesterday all feared and respected our student Yegor Mazaeva. I do not know about you, but I would not have tolerated it.
- And in the third year will not leave? - Yegor asked cautiously.
- What do you take us for ...
In the next lesson, Dad and Son behaved equally quiet. Svetochka admired a black cracked glass glasses Embryo and fondly thought of the director.
By the end of the lesson in the study of Timur Petrovich broke Mom, triumphantly waving the two pulled out the trade union committee permits in summer camp.
Farewell was furnished with all solemnity. Son and Dad equally downcast eyes, looked at the tips of his socks, Mom studied collection slingshots Svetochka studied Mom, director watched Sveta.
- I hope - the director continued, - that, like a good boy, you know that you are not after all that has happened is nothing to do but to reform and stop upset aunt.
- I hope - in the tone he said, Dad - that as a decent person, you also know that you after all that has happened is left with no choice but to marry this young lady - Dad nodded carelessly on Svetochka. And for the first time in the last quarter Timur Petrovich felt that marry Svetochka he no longer wants.

by Alfred Gockel paintings

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